Tuesday, December 6

Maybe It's Just Me.

Salam :) 

   So I've been thinking, is it true when they say if you dream about someone in particular, the person actually misses you? #kononfakta And is it believable that love between human beings actually exist? #Ireallydontknow. Well not anymore, that is. Yeah, it's that time of life where I tend to reminisce - a lot - about my life. It's the time where I frequently think about (unnecessary, maybe?) things that secretly, it's tearing me down into pieces. We all go through that, don't we? Or maybe it's just me -_- I don't know. I feel like such a loser for feeling so.

The other day I planned on visiting my best friend who currently is doing her CAT at UITM Shah Alam. Hell yeah, I was excited. But then,
Things never work out these days, do they? 
Or maybe it's just me -_-

   Turned out, her mom came to visit the day I initially thought would be my best. I had to cancel it all. Seeing that she felt guilty, I felt even worse. For making one of the most important person to me feeling bad for herself, especially when you've known each other for more than half a decade. To me, that's an accomplishment :) Don't know about you ladies though, but I think having that one special friend instead of a whole frickin "possie" is a lot more helpful in times of you feeling like crap the whole time.

   Forgetting all the crap I've written in the above, I just got my final results yesterday! 
*note the not-so-happy tone* 

I'm not being ungrateful, because truly that is not the case. I'm just saying that maybe I was either feeling a tad bit overconfident or I simply thought that I should've gotten better outcome. I don't know. I was a bit too upset seeing those around me scoring four-point-oh's and me, well. I didn't. At first, they were understanding about it and tried not to rub it in other's faces, but just moments after that I felt like I was just as secluded. Again, it might've just been me -_-

But that's okay :) 
I'm trying to be happy with myself, and alhamdulillah someone really did help me overcome the sh*tty feeling. Thanks Kak Yana(again, lol), because you've opened my eyes and heart again to a world I sometimes feel like I don't really belong to; and of course to others who tried, lol. and Dad who always made me feel better after a phone call. For now, I'm wondering about this other person who so far, I've dedicated a lot of my time and feelings for and well, the message is:

Where are you?
And why do I feel like you're not really there ?

Or maybe it's just me -_-

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