dilemma dilemma.

this is probably something ALOT of u people out there have not had the experience. sebabnya:

1. rukun tetangga in semenanjung m'sia isnt as strong as it is here
2. so, it doesnt happen kat sana lah! doiii.
3. i have no more reasons to type here.

continuing: awk mesti pelik kan apa kaitan rukun tetangga? LOL. yes, peliks sikit :) well. this post is about me and my neighbour, en. N. *if he reads this, i never ever EVER intended to bukak ur aib ok? this is just luahan hati perut intestines semua. 

wuhooooooo! SPM dah habis.

♬freedoooommm, freedooomm♪ ♫

so, yayy. on 20 Dec 2010, tepattepat pukul 10.30am, saya FREE, FREE and FREEEE!

 semua orang in the Dewan Besar SEMESTA ta saba saba na siapkan kertas LK :) ehem, bukan ta suka yeah? kitorg tggu 14 frickin days tau na jawab paper tu? gila apa tunggu lama" lepas budak bio dah bebas dpd cengkaman 'exam-oriented high school student'. tgk dorg melompat" rse na sekeh je. cehhh, sorry ye kawan if awk bace ni. itu dulu. now, sy pun dah habis maa *halo atas kepala sy, npk ta?

so, dah habis semua tu bla bla bla. ciou dari sekolah, cuti cuti cuti. then balik laa kuching sini

 .home.sweet.home.

and then one day.....

En. N*note, bukan nme sebenar lah!                      [Accept] [Not Now]

 

tanda soal.

he's my neighbour. i accept lah! apa yg na tanda soal lagi?  :) then ktorg start tegur menegur.

bla  bla bla.

except for the fact that i couldnt understand what he was saying!? let me tell u, sarawakian is not that easy oh! sumpaa, bes bes lah. tp bila dah shortform, AMEK KAU. =) haha.melongo lah kau dpan lappy kau tu. LOL ^^

so we talked and talked. and throughout the whole process, i noticed how sensitive he was. i mean when i'd said "chat later", memanglah not necessarily i will be online in the next half an hour or so! haiyaaaa. then when i pg balit*notice, a touch of sarawakian spelling dkt page dy.

i didnt have access.

=.='

hell yeah, he deleted me! i pun jadi pelik lah kenapa macam tu kan.and this is what happened,

i dont think we should be friends anymore. sy na borak td, awk ckap awk pg makan.makan lah sgt.

What?I wasn't lying to u ok.I really was eating and baru skrg na online.I'm sorry if I'm such a bad person to be ur friend.myb I just shouldn't even be here.I don't belong here rite?ayat pancing*

actually,i dont want u to go back to kl.i kinda like u a lot.but i have a prob,its hard for me to trust girl.(then dy story2 lah about his past, made me feel guilty.sorta.)

sy tanak suka mana2 ppuan,...(and more, more of that i couldnt translate of)

for the moment that was it. i ta sempat na balas apa2 pun dy dah send lagi myk2 message.

  #1

good morning.im so sorry k.its already 4 a.m but still i cant get some sleep.

mmmmm,i like u so damn much and i wish that u will go somewhere far.

mek coba tdo lok k.wish me luck.esk kompom bgn tdo kol 12. 

#2

wahhhhh,typo.(i wish that u will never go somewhere far from me.♥

so by the time  i woke up and got online, i read all these(there were more kut?) i was like in UTTER SHOCK.believe it or not, mana lah sy tahu he had feelings for me? i hardly talked to him.in person pun!

moving on, i layan jela. tp not the jiwangs part. i tried to be friendly and a reaaallllyy be a friend.seriously, i did. but he liked to bring the topic back to the 'part'. err..+.+

i wrote,

Erm, then don't lah.being just friends is always better.

love come from friendship.plus ur kind,dakne lh mek x ska ngan tak.-_-"
mn mek x ska pange ktk,bok lh mek x ska ngan tak. 

(mcm mana sy tak bole sukakan awk and something something)

but kta baru je knal? kn?and how do u know I'm kind? tibe2 dpt tau mek mcm singa, lari truss.
Em,what's pange?

yes,tp mek dh prati ktk 2 taun bah time tak dtg umah mek.mek pnh dlk(dulu) add tak lam(dlm) fb,p tak x approve2.ya mek cancel blit.mn tak jdi singa mek jdi singa wak lh.♥

pange=perange or perangai. 

*err, pandai2 lah korg fahamkan sendri =)

quick teachin' and learnin'!

mek: saya

tak/ktk: awak

mn/mun: tapi

balit/blit: balik 

dakne: mcm mana

;) got it?

now, back to the story. 

he wrote lagi,

what if i said i love u?

err.i wont say anything lah. i mean, mek sik bole stop ktk or anything. just, i ask for u to not have high hopes sb mek bukan jnis cmtu. okie? mn klo na kawan no problem :)  

sy tak mengarapkan ap2 pun.tq n bye bye black bird.jgn rep msg tk k.tc.goodnight
. 

 what? knpe ta bole rep? i dont understand:S

because i dont want u too.understand.just leave me alone. 

alright, ok. if u dont want me here, ckp jela. i wont show up in front of u. im sorry i cant be ur friend, bye.*HAHA, corny gila ayat aku. tp betul lah, geram time ni :(

i dont care if ur here.sal tak x gago hal mek.mek x gago hal tak.bye.

 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and so, i didnt rep his message. i had no idea what i felt. i had no idea WHAT HE WANTED? i just let out evrything regarding this issue to Mr. A. i think he understands me too well :)

i know it was stupid of me to cry over something like this, tapi entah ohh. i dont wanna live here knowing i have someone looking down on me from his frickin window?!

i tatau abt u, but klu i rse creepy gila ada org who watches ur every move*his words were more or less

eeeiii, u ni! lagi cuak lah i. the way u ckp tu made me realise even more at how freaky the situation is :(

laaa, betul la! kan?

that night we talked, talked and talked. at first Mr. A let me banjirkan my bedsheet dulu, hearing me cry.LOL, segan lah pulak bila fikir balik =P   

but it was worth it.

p/s. if u are still wondering apa kaitan the rukun tangga-tangga thingy up there. errm, well. i'm sory idk lah mcm mana na explain the relations to this story, LOL ^^